Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dear Internet,

Today a Black kid became President of the United States. I knew this day would come and I've been preparing. I can't watch BET because it's too loud, but I have seen various WB shows over the years and know how to assimilate into Black culture. This is my job and I'm the best.

I feel the Bama will do great things. He is not afraid to knife people if they deserve it, so terrorists watch your guts! That's what America needs and it's got it.

I'm afraid for money. I think Bama doesn't appreciate money the way I do. He wants to not give me as much and instead give it to bail out rich people who unlike me aren't associated with the government. I do not understand this mind. He has to work with the government for the next 5 years. Why not give us money so we like him? This is common sense. If you give people money, they like you more. People say he's smart so maybe he's just a tiny bit stupid. A real patriot would give me money.

Now I'm not saying Bama isn't a real patriot. I think he's just a little goofy, that's all. I mean, what can you expect from a guy who was born a Mooslim in Africa and then his parents wised up and accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior. A lot of people say he's still Mooslim and was going to take the oath on the Koran. That is lie. He also does not worship cattle like the Mooslims. He loves Jesus now and that's good enough for me! Well, he's not as good as someone who has loved Jesus all their life, but not many people are perfect.

He is Commander in Chief and I will support him. So should you. That is how to be a real American. Real americans support anyone as Commander in Chief. Just look at Jimmy Carter. Even if you are white like me and don't understand him unlike me you should support him no matter what. Until he does something really stupid. Like AIDS experiments on Oriental babies. That would be terrible.

God bless America and God bless me.


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